Ein „Nein“, in der falschen Tonlage gesprochen, kann den Gesprächspartner verschrecken und die Beziehung negativ beeinflussen.
Aber auch im Brief können Sie den falschen Ton treffen. Hier wirkt er besonders nachhaltig, weil er schwarz auf weiß vorliegt.
Ein begründetes Nein
Ein begründetes Nein ist die beste Art der Ablehnung. Der Grund sollte allerdings neutral, vom Empfänger unabhängig und ohne Konsequenzen für den Empfänger sein.
Beispiele:
- I cannot join your party next Friday because I will be at an engineering seminar in Berlin.
- Mr Schleifer will not be able to see you on 14 July because he will be on vacation.
- I would like to suggest a new appointment as I cannot finish the project until Tuesday. There are still a few details missing.
- I have to finish one last task first. If possible, I would like to join you in two hours’ time.
Bieten Sie eine Alternative an
The last example shows how you can “turn the tide” from a negative to a positive tone. Just offer an alternative. Here are just some suggestions:
- May I suggest a new date?
- I would like to offer another option.
- Would you mind joining me on a different day?
- I would like to recommend a different time.
Nevertheless the starting paragraph remains “negative”. Is there anything you can do to change this tone?
Mit Bedauern?
In German correspondence trainings you must have heard quite often that it is bad to use a negative style of writing. Some of the English words that indicate a negative tone are the following:
- sorry,
- unfortunately,
- regretfully,
- no,
- impossible,
- cannot,
- will not ...
But as our first examples show, if you have to say ”no“, you have to use these words. And you have to do it pretty early in your letter. It is no use beating about the bush.
Your “no” is less harsh, however, when you offer an alternative as we suggested and show your regret. Again, you have to use “negative” words. And it looks as if you were caught between the devil and the deep blue sea.
If you write: “I’m sorry, but we have to postpone our meeting because …” you have a message with a two negative messages:
- message: you are sorry.
- message: you have to postpone ...
Your way out:
Die richtige Reihenfolge macht’s
The best solution is to start with:
- the fact: We have to postpone the meeting because of …
- go on with your alternative: Our new suggestion is …
- say that you are sorry: We are sorry, but ...
- end your letter with a positive outlook:
- We look forward to a good/productive meeting next week.
- We are sure to find a good date for everyone’s schedule next week.
Und bei echten „Nervbolzen“?
Sometimes it is very nerve–wracking to correspond with somebody via e-mail. You feel like writing “no”, but as you have to work with that person you don’t dare. We are talking about colleagues who want to chat for a while when they have nothing to do.
This problem is very easy to solve: just stop answering and go on with your own work. As these e-mails contain nothing of importance, there is no need to say “no”.
Maureen Brown (GB), Jennifer Hohensteiner (USA)
Maureen Brown ist in London aufgewachsen. Sie hat viele Jahre als Assistentin und Sekretärin im Management eines Unternehmens gearbeitet und ist heute für die Bezirksregierung in Surrey, Südengland, aktiv.
Jennifer Hohensteiner ist in den USA groß geworden. Sie hat den Master’s Degree in Political Science und lebt seit 1990 in Deutschland. Hier hat sie langjährige Berufserfahrung als Fremdsprachensekretärin, Wirtschaftsübersetzerin und Trainerin für Business English.
